Growing up I always wanted to be picked for stuff, the teacher needed someone to read, my hand was up, needed someone to send my hand was up, needed someone to clean the board, I was on my feet. Now that I look back, that's where my pick me tendencies were birthed. The little things grew to big things, as I hit puberty I started to wonder why the boys I liked never liked me back (or pick me) or why the cool kids never picked me to be in their squad, this affected my confidence and how I viewed myself, I felt I wasn't good enough or pretty enough.
The older I grew, I got so engrossed in wanting to be picked by others that I started to lose my own identity. Being a pick-me dictated how I should look, dress,act and all that so I could fit in. But you see, these things don't last, you can only fit in for so long (remember what happened to Lindsey Lohan in Mean Girls?) The truth eventually catches up with you. That bridge you kept saying you'll cross when you get there? , you're finally there!
I knew I hit rock bottom the one time I cried and prayed to God for me to be the one a certain person chose, that day I knew I lost myself, I lost my confidence and I was at the mercy of someone who wasn't sure about me.. painful right?
Dearest reader, allow me to tell you its okay to choose yourself, to choose what makes you happy, keeps you sane, it's okay to choose YOU.
In the family setup,we were raised to be selfless and put others first, but somewhere somehow we started thinking sidelining ourselves so others feel comfortable or accommodated makes us good people, no it doesn't. If anything it's turned us into resentful adults, the kind who remind everyone what we do for them.
In relationships, we've stayed despite the bad because "he/she gave me a chance" or "what will people say ", or because you've given so many years and so much of yourself to this person that you have no idea, where and how you'll start over and get that power back. I'm no expert at this life thing but with everyday I learn from my experiences and those of others, the one thing I will tell you is there is so much power that comes with Choosing yourself!
The minute you choose you and do so every morning when you wake up, this life thing starts to become a bit more bearable and align.
Starting today, I want you to choose you in everything and every space ❤️
Lots of Love💓
Thee Talkative Aries ♈️
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