Roses are red, violets are blue, if I could choose who I want to do life with, I'd choose you!
LOL! Twale lemba ama love note ifwe, not even ati what! From my primary school days, I have always enjoyed writing, from poems to secrets in my diary, as age progressed we started ama love letter. Writing the note was often a walk in the park, because it was really just either about how much you miss the person or your depth of love for the (could have been like a cup of tea, milk, or as deep as the Indiana Ocean) you had to identify which one worked for you and your relationship. The hard part in this love note situation was finding befitting dedications (Ded-keys), expressing yourself in your own words was one thing but in song? That's a whole new level of everything. Are you going for Westlife? or maybe Massari's real love? Maybe something from BoysIIMen or New Edition (Writing that line has my age showing 🙈) but you get it. Music for me is a solid love language, the minute I start sharing songs or playlists just know ati natupona mu love (we have fallen).
I am such a hopeless romantic, I love being loved and loving. Even just the thought of it, seeing people flourish in love, awe ndomfwa bwino. My favorite kinda songs? definitely, the ones that talk about love. I have a love song playlist that has almost 100 songs new and old (I am always discovering songs), and on Sundays (which are apparently for lovers), I sink myself in my bed and listen to them wholeheartedly and say I think is my wedding song, to each and every one of them.
Now let's get back to a certain part of reality, imwe life isn't totally fair to hopeless lovers. This love thing, in this day and age? Hmm, not for the fainthearted. Self-served hypertension. Don't get me wrong, there are some decent people out there but a good number? It's vibes and autopilot. The options are no longer just dating, in a relationship, engaged, or married. Nomba kwaba talking stage, sneaky link, option exploring, in love but can't be together, besties but in love and so much more. A part of me is convinced most of us want love, a good love, a resilient love, a safe love but the universe hasn't really presented that, so the fortress walls are so high up, we have become okay with these half-baked situations that seem safe because we feel we have the power to get out before it gets too deep.
But ine? I have failed lol. Those "I'm not sure what we are but we are something" kinda relationships??? They will show you flames! BIG BIG CHIMBILIMBILI (read Bonfire) kinda flames, HAAAA! Because you see, when you get upset, you will sit on your bed and be so mad but also ask yourself what you are mad about and how you are going to address it, but the little voice in your head is telling you that you cant address things because y'all aint together like that and then now you're spiraling and agitated because your lover who isn't your lover did something wrong but it's not that deep! (Just writing this has reminded me how dizzy all this was and is). And let me just say, the breakup that comes from this arrangement is the most painful thing one can ever go through, and because iyi takwaba na closure lol you just cry in peace and be sad for however long it hurts.
After a few explorations in those kinda flings, I realized I am not built for it. I like defined relationships, the ones where when I am mad, you will know why I am mad and we will talk through what the next steps are. I want to not be afraid to open my heart, I want to share my playlists and do the childish thing of suggesting baby names (which change in every relationship lol).
What's your kind of love? What do you appreciate? What works for you?
Love isn't easy but I think it can be worth it.
Thank you for reading💖
Lots of Love 💞
Thee Talkative Aries ♈
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