I can't do this, I can't do that, I am not so smart... I have had moments in my life where I uttered such words, maybe because I was nervous or because I didn't want to oversell myself, so I spoke words that I felt put me in a safer spot.
The past couple of weeks have been a rollercoaster, from work life to social life. You know how they say when it rains it pours? that's been my life, working long hours, being overstretched, having no room to think, breathe, or even process, just from meeting to meeting, email to email, being scolded for mistakes made in the middle of burnout, YANGU TATA LESA, I am just one person.
So in the habit of being a frustrated millennial, I started to complain. I can't do this anymore, I am tired (this is true), I am failing, maybe I wasn't built for this and so much more.. This has been my location mentally, I was just filling myself with negativity and telling myself how I am not good enough for my job, or for the opportunities coming my way and this has been making me so uncomfortable, agitated, and lowkey sad.
You see, the thing is, its easier to complain than to sit, reflect and realign... the latter seems like so much work, like ndepita muma problems nama problems yalepita muli ine, and in this, I should start being Bob and rebuild myself? , nah fam! I will stay in bed and wallow till the wallowing is tired of me!
But you see how God (or the Universe or whoever or whatever you believe in) works, heaven will slap sense into you real fast! And that's what is happening to me. The past year has been one of the most trying times in my life and sometimes I let the bad days win but on most days I was grateful, I affirmed myself, I cheered myself on, and pushed myself every single day, I woke up and I chose to live unapologetically. So why am I letting myself take steps back? why am I speaking to myself carelessly? why am I telling myself I can't do this? I have been doing things I never ever imagined I will and all it took was me speaking to myself in a manner that kept me afloat, motivated, and a kind one.
What do you say to yourself when you are down? when things get rough? when nothing is going your way? ... What are you speaking out to the universe over yourself? One thing I do when overwhelmed is write in my journal, I write every single bad/negative feeling I have and then force myself to speak positives (sometimes it doesn't work) but at least I am trying to channel my energies into spaces that won't mess up my mental health, my self-esteem and spoil my day all together.
Life is hard and not every day is sunny but finding ways to go through the storm makes it more bearable. Get your raincoat, boots, umbrella, and continue to walk through the rain, and as you do speak kindly to yourself, speak confidently about yourself, and remember that YOU have the power to make or break YOU.
Thank you for reading💗
Lots of Love💕
Thee Talkative Aries♈
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