Once upon a time, I hated how I looked. I was this fat, ugly pimple-faced teenager with 2 rabbit teeth and the worst 4C hair you could ever imagine.
My teen years definitely count as some of my toughest years of confidence and self-discovery. My body is naturally on the chubby side, and I looked a bit older than my actual age growing up so that never made it any easier. I was often accused of lying about my age, and the big boobs and early menses made it harder to defend myself, because why are you wearing a B-cup bra in 7th grade???
Fast forward to high school, the dark ages lol kudos to the boys who actually liked me then, y'all are real ones!😂.
One of the most hurtful things I ever heard was people in my class used to call me "Johnny Bravo" behind my back, and anyone who knows that cartoon would attest to the fact that his body structure wasn't the cutest. I sobbed so hard the day I found that out, and that was the beginning of my insecurities. I started looking for ways to lose weight, and I started saying things like I would someday like to reduce the size of my boobs (I am still contemplating this). I couldn't look into the mirror for long because I ended up noticing new things I hated about myself.
High school ended and then came my first University experience, I had lost a significant amount of weight (heard a rumor about me having lost that weight because I was dumped lol), no please, I was a gym freak at a point, never missed a session, ask ba Power Dynamos lol they always found me in the gym. I liked the smaller me, she was "cute" according to my standards, I wore crop tops, dresses with the longest slits, and open-back clothes. It was peak confidence season (or I thought it was). My pimples made a grand comeback in my early 20s and the cute season glitched. Just before I could start to cope with this, the return of chubby chubs happened!😔. Back to square one...
In all these various phases I never gave myself a chance to look into the mirror and accept who I am, I wanted to be Instagram pretty or Facebook beautiful, the number of likes really mattered because if they were less than a certain number, I wasn't nice enough. Or if a certain guy didn't like that picture finish tai weme (it's not nice).
I would be lying if I said confidence is at its peak now, but I am no longer as agitated about physical attributes as I used to be. I am falling in love with my post-25 grown woman body, I get pimples every now and then, and I can't change that, it's the type of skin I have, and sometimes they're really just part of a season and will eventually fade off.
Some of us can relate, to the snide comments on one's weight, skin, clothes, teeth, foot size, etc... If you are not strong like me, it will eat you up, it will haunt you, you will look for keto diets, fat-free diets, you will buy all the serums and toners you see on socials but if you don't feel pretty, you might end up having the clear skin, good body and still be unhappy. Pretty has to start from within then you radiate it outwards.
Even Beyonce said "Pretty Hurts", it's your soul that needs the surgery. If you are not comfortable in your "flawed self", it's hard to be comfortable in your glory. Skin changes and wrinkles someday will form. Weight changes due to various issues, from health to stress. Avoid the need to pass hurtful comments to people on how they look, especially if you don't know what they may be going through. It is none of your business if I have put on weight, or if I am 2 shades darker than the last time we met. And please! If you do not fund one's meals or skin routines, resist the urge to bring it up.
So today, I want you to look into your mirror and speak positively about the person you see because that person needs you to remind them they are beautiful!
Mirror, mirror on the wall. I may struggle, I may fall. But today I am the fairest of them all!
Thank you for reading.
With lots of Love,
Thee Talkative Aries💖
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