Dear Diary....

 I remember how cool those words were growing up lol. We've been journaling for a long while, we just didn't call it that. We called it "writing in our diaries". Oh, how I looked forward to writing in mine after every eventful day, good or bad. It felt right to do so, and even better after pouring out. 

So here is a quick story about one of my dear diary moments (also known as my first and most embarrassing moment). I was in sixth grade, and I had this huge crush on a guy in grade 10(in my defense he looked like Bow Wow, the old one 😂), we he was an exact replica. Anyway, ifwe we wrote mu diary. I had those tuma diaries that had a lock and key but you could easily open them with a pen or a pin. I never used to leave it at home because I was afraid someone would read it, little did I know the real devils were sixth graders lol. So this one day, 3 girls in my class got my diary out of my bag, opened it, and started reading it. They stumbled upon the parts I wrote about my crush and tore those pages, these girls took them to his girlfriend and went around telling everyone about my crush 😟😟😟.

I was so embarrassed, I ran to the bathrooms and cried, a friend of mine came and gave me a pep talk and told me I won't manage to avoid people, so I should just go about my business. So it was break time, we went to the Tuckshop and there she was, ba gelo bakwa crush and just as I was praying for the ground to swallow me, ba crush and his squad came. At this point, I was ready for the heavens to receive me. Ba the girlfriend then looks at me and says "I read the little note you wrote about my boyfriend, how cute". Then she and her friends laughed. This was pa bantu! In people! I just looked down and walked away. I felt so many things but the most I felt was stupid. I remember telling myself, first of all, you are too young to be liking someone (Ba mbuya will beat you if she found out) lol, secondly I remember telling myself I am not even as pretty as his girlfriend, how could he possibly notice me. Now that I think about it, this was one of the stages in my life that fuelled my insecurities. I was a little too huge for my age, I got teased about it a lot, and let's not forget the pimples. 

Fast forward to about a week later, I stayed for math tutorials in the late afternoon. I went to the TuckShop to get a quick snack while waiting for my tutor. I was talking to the lady mu tuckshop and I heard my name, I turned and it was my crush and his friends, he said hi and asked if he could talk to me real quick, at this point the crush had died due to severe embarrassment, he apologized for the bullying from his girlfriend and said he found my Dear Diary cute lol (insert further embarazzzment). All in all, we kinda became friends after that. 

I learned quickly in my puberty that some secrets are best told to God we lol but at the same time I learned to face my fears headstrong, that tuckshop incident taught me how to face bullies because almost every chapter in life has some, you either find them in friendships, school, workplaces, and church. You either walk away or kill them with kindness, messy and messy do not mix!

And lastly, that tuckshop situation taught me that your crush should just be your crush mwe! LOL 

Thanks for reading!

Lots of Love 💖

Thee Talkative Aries